I began writing an article on LinkedIn in early 2018 with the same title and saved it as a draft. There were certain components in my writing which did not make me comfortable to post it then. Certain elements on "engagement" which were critical of the contemporary practices of organisations. And in hindsight, I am glad to say that my good sense prevailed, then. Fast forward, 2020 June, I have had the opportunity to review my ways of thinking, reflected on the roots of my own defilements to gain clarity. And I found that I will only keep the headline of the article and discard the rest.

How many times in our lives, especially at the busy workplace, have we put our thoughts in the "draft" folder and reflected on selves with the aim to get better clarity?

Have you ever heard yourself or someone saying to you, "don't take it personally?" I have often wondered what do they mean by that? Do they even know, that it's a backhanded criticism or worse do they follow it on themselves? Does an occasional lapse of reason or poor work, not get reflected in the performance records or leave an impression in the minds of the assessor? Reflection on the statement now has uncovered a deep root of wisdom with me.

And today, I read an article in GreaterGood.berkely by Chris Marcell Murchison, which reflected amongst other things, on the different types of listening, researched by Otto Scharmer, an MIT researcher. As I was going through the types, certain individuals including myself ( at certain times) presented themselves in my conscious mind.

First, let me elaborate on the types of listening. The below descriptors are verbatim as in the article.

• DOWNLOADING - "transferring information which is already familiar. Listening only to reconfirm what you already know". This reminded of usual workplace scenarios when we "react" to information which is given to us without verifying with the subject or with ourselves. When leaders or any individual talk loosely about another co-worker, or impress her opinion of an individual, on other people, a good question to ask is, why do YOU think the way you do? That momentary pause of self-check could yield a completely different opinion or outcome, and you may find yourself re-consider your intention.
• FACTUAL - "paying attention only when the information is different from what you know." And the new information is added. I am guilty, in the past thankfully, of applying this kind of listening skill. While it was efficient according to me, but many times, I found the conversations dull and "non-value adding". This works as a double-edged sword. It completely alienates you emotionally from connecting with the speakers and the audience. A meeting or an appointment is beyond the exchange of valuable information. Yes, sometimes you have to meet just to exchange information, but if you simply focus on the information, you miss the opportunity to connect, collaborate and grow.
• EMPATHIC - "hearing with an open heart. Empathising and seeing through someone else's eyes; the ability to respect and understand the other person from where they are". This is the fundamentally critical piece of a mindful presence. To be able to clear one's mind of past impressions, and listen with an open heart. This brings different perspectives into the conversation, reframe articulation with encouragement and direction. One cannot learn "empathic listening" from a presentation or intellectually. One can know, but not learn to apply. It requires a deep understanding of self; the nuances of habitual patterns of thinking, practise and appreciate where one is coming from - and then and only then can you extend and listen with your heart, and be completely present at the moment.
• GENERATIVE - "listening to create, without your personality getting into the way of results". This can happen as a result and outcome of empathic listening. With regular experiential mindfulness practice, one can discover the self defilements, gain a better understanding and then set aside "ego", be "present" and extend that love and support to self and others.

It is important now more than ever before, actually, I stand corrected. I do not want to create a sense of emergency. It has always been important to pay mindful attention to our minds and the matter. When an impression ( from a person, element or incident) lands on our 6 senses ( sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell and mind), it creates a feeling and a sensation within our physical form ( body), and an emotion surfaces to classify it as a pleasant or an unpleasant sensation; depending on the nature of the sensation, we either crave for it or repel it at the mental level first - which in turn generates a vocal or physical action. This is the fundamental precept of the mind, in Buddhism and now explained with modern psychology.

When we are in the thick and thin of things, are we aware of the workings of the mind, at an experiential level? Can we truly say, we are in touch with ourselves? In order to follow through any kind of listening skills, leadership or management skills, we first need to focus on the self-tuning and understanding at an experiential level and only then can we pursue excellence in our work.

Having lived and breathed corporate life in action and in my mind, and experiencing mindfulness meditation practice, I have one regret - I wish I had known this, before.

Take care, and I hope you keep your "learning" folder open and active and as for the rest, consider putting them in the draft folder to carefully investigate before you act.