It Feels Like a Dream

As I went on stage today to receive the Asia's Most Talented Coaching Leaders 2019 (Singapore) award, it felt surreal.

Six years ago, I would never have imagined that this was possible.

Even in the early stages of building my coaching practice, so many coaches have told me that it is going to be highly impossible that I could build a viable practice on coaching alone. Truth be told, 82% of coaches never survive past the first three years of their practice. The odds were alarming and worrying.

The beginning was tough and arduous. I struggled to find time and clients to accumulate enough coaching hours for the first level of credential by the International Coach Federation. Compared to what I was doing before, I am now able to work four times faster. This meant reaching four times the number of people and transforming four times the number of lives. This pace of working, level of international exposure and impact were unimaginable six years ago.

How did I do it? What have I learned?

One part of me just wanted to be in the moment; the coach part of me decided it was time to reflect, consolidate and to crystalize my learning.

 

#1: You Need To Pay The Right Price

To get up, you have to give up.

- John Maxwell

For those of you who have read my story would know that my path to self-transformation was ignited by Dr John C Maxwell. Papa John, as the John Maxwell Team (JMT) would fondly call him, played an instrumental role in my life since 2012. His leadership principles, so simple yet profound, are the most beautiful and powerful which I often share with my clients. To make a career out of your passion, you first need to be willing to pay the price.

The price comes in many forms. It was not just finances. It was my time, my attention, my focus. I spent countless late nights poring over the online curriculum. I made sense of the many theories and internalized each of them through practice. Being a musician in my younger days, I knew theory must be complemented with practice. To learn to coach at the professional level, I needed to work extra hard. I wanted to the best coach I can be. At the same time, hitting pause on the rest of my life was not possible. I was starting a young family. I was in a demanding full-time job. I had career aspirations. I wanted to continue to give my best in all aspects and pursue my passion. Too much was happening at the same time.

When you try focusing on everything, you focus on nothing.

Not surprisingly, things were not working out. I was paying too high a price and there were times I almost gave up. Not because I could not achieve it, but the manner in which I was executing my plan was faulty. My health was suffering from the lack of sleep and mental exhaustion. There were many days where I showed up for work and felt like a zombie. I was running on empty. Something had to go, eventually.



 

I had also sacrificed my social time with friends and we drifted apart as a result. There were many times where I struggled to maintain a healthy family life.

Eventually, I learned to choose which price I should and can pay. I learned to slow the plan down so I will not be driven to almost-madness by the fervor of the passion, and not to drive people who are dear to me away, as I was hardly spending time with them. I learned to take care of my health – that sleep was the best medicine and best nutrition a healthy body can ask for. I learned not to envy coaches who could take career breaks and be okay with my circumstances, my stage of life. Ultimately, Papa John said this during the certification in Orlando:

We live our lives in seasons.

I learned that if this were a race, I will be a tortoise instead of the hare. I will focus my energy to hone my craft, sharpen my skills so when I am ready to enter the market run this as my business, I will be skillful and masterful.

#2: Create Your Own Support Network

There were many times when I felt I was alone. No one understood me. Coaching is a very new field and there is limited understanding of it by consumers. My friends and family were no exception.

Many coaches call themselves "solopreneurs" and for good reason. The road to building a coaching business was a difficult one. The proportion of people who do not understand what we really do vastly outnumber those who could. For a person like me, with limited understanding of the nuts and bolts of the business process, it was adding fuel to the flame. What an uphill task it was!

Over the years I toughened my hide and learned to ask for advice from veterans in the field. I always advocate "direct communication" with my clients and more often than not, you do not know what can happen until you ask directly.

Sometimes I encounter coaches who reject my request for advice, perhaps for fear that I am their competitor and they should not share trade secrets. I was fortunate to find a few people who had the abundance mindset and were willing to share.

I had found "my people".



 

From "my people", I learned the craft of marketing (and I am still learning), learned the sales process, learned to nail every interview with the big players in professional coaching and training scene. I was confident and convincing. Again, I have evolved from the meek, timid little girl into someone else. And all these were only achievable because I had found a group of coaches who were (still are) my pillars of support. Through coaching supervision, we laid our inadequacies in both coaching mastery and business building out. We heard each others' fears, concerns and showed encouragement. I was able to gain lots of positive energy which I then passed on successfully to all my clients.

When life doesn't give you what you want, you need to create it on your own.

I was relentless in fighting isolation and it was all worthwhile.

#3: Action Before Perfection

My clients, if they were reading this, would probably laugh out loud.

I have said it so many times in our sessions together.

Like many of my clients, I too, suffers from the "Imposter Syndrome". It stems from a overwhelming (and irrational) sense of "never being good enough". In the early days when I first started coaching, it took me 3 months to realize what I was doing was actually not coaching. My earliest coachees were peer coaches and I could remember some of the awkward silences after certain sessions where I was quite awful.

But hey, how would I ever improve if I do not practice, right?

Doctors need to practice and understudy in order to be good so I gotta gain the experience, isn't it?


 

With that in mind, I learned to focus on my practice so I could improve quickly. I wanted to be responsible for my coachees' time. I asked for direct feedback after every session, I go over my notes again and again until I was confident in all the> coach competencies from the ICF to attain the gold standard in coaching.

I believe with focused hard work, things will eventually improve. True enough, my first major payoff came almost three years later when I was working with a client from the United Nations. (>read the story here)

Concluding Thoughts

The quality of our thinking determines the quality of our lives.

To make a career out of your passion is a major decision. It takes thoughtful and deliberate planning and execution. You need to find the right strategy and be vigilant in monitoring your progress. You need to know which season of life are you in right, what are the risks you can take (or not), and pay the right price.

If you are in a rare trade like me, it might get lonely and you need to find people to do this together. The clarity of your thoughts are important here as you want to find the right company.

Lastly, take action quickly. Fail fast, learn fast. Evaluate every single experience so you can succeed sooner.

I wish you all the best in your journey.